The biggest reason why guys are so terrified of hitting on women is the fear of running out of things to say, and not knowing what to say to a woman.
Have you ever been out at the bar or a club and seen some hottie in a guys arms and he’s just chatting up a storm with her and you want to know SO BADLY what this guy could possibly be talking about that has her so invested in him (I know you have).
“If only I knew what these guys were saying! Then I would have the keys to getting gorgeous women left right and center” is what I used to tell myself.
Well guys, I figured it out.
And you may be shocked when you find out what they are really talking about.
These guys that are scoring with all these hotties you have been unnecessarily pedestaling all these years are literally talking about WHATEVER THE HELL THEY WANT.
I’m serious, in a bar or club you can’t even hear what you’re saying half the time, do you think she can hear you clearly?
As long as you can maintain a fluid conversation by at least in some decent capacity answering what she’s talking about, have words that come out of your mouth that are relevant to what she’s talking about, and can follow up with a topic about literally anything, you can seriously have an endless conversation.
The same applies during day game (approaches in the day time).
For your first approaches, after introducing yourself, you should literally just say the first thing that comes to your mind and go from there.
You will be shocked at how quickly you develop when you force your mind to think on the fly.
Why Analyzing “Players” Conversations Is Harmful To Your Development
When I was first writing this article, I was going to include some sample conversations I have had with women because I know when I was learning I loved specifics and real in field examples that I could see from start to finish EXACTLY what a successful conversation looked like.
However, after literally writing out a few conversations I have had for your reference, I realized it would be far more beneficial to completely avoid including specifics about exactly what I say.
The reason for this is simple.
If you spend time reading and analyzing what other people say, you will start to develop a very one-track state of mind where when you are at a loss for words, the only thing you can muster up in your head is canned material that you have read or heard online.
This is a huge issue for guys because if you go into approaches to hit on women with predetermined material or stories or a script essentially, you have already screwed yourself over for your development.
Winging It Vs. Having A Script
If you are hitting on women using scripts, you will eventually become so accustomed to only having the conversation pieces from your script as material, that you will never progress and adapt to situations where your own creative mind would kick in and give you things to say.
This is what happened to me, I used to go out with predetermined conversation topics in my head, and then when I got into conversations it felt SO unnatural, not congruent with my personality, and I didn’t get better at talking to women at all because I was just rehearsing written material that didn’t allow my brain to progress in any creative way.
I didn’t get sharper, I didn’t get more clever, I just stayed the same and rehearsed the same old bullshit over and over.
How I Started Making Progress At A VERY Fast Rate
My true progress started at an exponentially fast rate when I ditched the scripted material completely, and went into conversations having absolutely no idea what I was going to say beforehand.
The first several conversations are definitely awkward as you run out of stuff to say, but this is where progress is made insanely quick, because your brain quickly adapts and you start to learn how to come up with witty topics, responses, and just great overall conversational skills ON THE FLY.
This not only is immeasurably beneficial for your success with women, but it translates directly into other facets of your life like job interviews, stressful business presentations, going to parties with strangers and not knowing anyone, etc.
Think of having a conversation with your best friend and how not awkward it is.
Women are just human beings, flesh and bones, just like your best friend is, and you should treat conversations with them no differently, because they aren’t any different than any other human being.
Seriously, I could start talking about literally anything and turn that into a 20 minute conversation.
I could ask where she’s from, and then when she answers your creative brain could kick in if you know the place she’s talking about and then have a multitude of questions and subtopics from there related to the place she’s from and turn that into a giant conversation.
Or you could turn that into a subtopic about travelling, and where she’s been in the world.
Or you could turn it into a conversation about where you’re from and an interesting fact about where you’re from, or literally fucking anything.
You could even just randomly blurt out “what’s your favorite sexual position?” mid conversation and she would more likely than not be stoked to find a guy who’s ballsy enough to bring that up as it’s not just another boring conversation topic for her, and then you could have an awesome conversation about sex and escalate that into taking her home with you.
The reason why it’s so difficult to find information online about what exactly to say to get into a woman’s pants is that there is no formula, you simply talk, and make sure your intent is known via non-verbal body language, or giving her a compliment, or anything that lets her know you don’t just want to be friends without literally having to say it.
Or you could even say it if you felt like it. There are no rules!
Think about how ridiculous it is to be scared to talk to a little 110 pound human; it’s almost laughable when you truly think about it.
Ultimately, the goal of every conversation with a woman is to finish off with bringing them home with you if your logistics are worked out, or to get their phone number so you can set up a date with them at another time and place.
You absolutely don’t need to have an hour-long conversation with a woman, or even a ten-minute one for that matter.
You could literally even grab a girl’s number on the way out of a venue by going up to her quickly and dropping a compliment (not mandatory but I typically do it so they know my intent), introducing yourself, and telling her you want to grab her number so you can connect another time, and then handing her your phone to put her number into it.
That interaction would literally take no more than 30 seconds and it works like a charm.
To Sum It All Up + Best Topics To Bring Up If You Completely Blank
If you can’t think of something to say, literally say the first thing that pops into your head and base your conversation off that.
Even if it’s kind of odd, by forcing yourself into situations where you have to come up with a conversation off the top of your head, you will start to develop your “game” at incredibly fast rate (faster than any other method in my opinion), and soon you will find yourself easily having smooth conversations with women that can last as long or as short as you want them to with absolutely no awkward pauses.
If you legitimately blank out during a conversation and are freaking out, then just throw a random general question at the girl like “what do you do for work?” or any general question that will get her talking while you regain your composure, and then you can branch off of her response from there with an array of different responses or sub-topics relevant to her work.
Easy general topics that you can bring up when you blank are work, school, hobbies, travel, and future aspirations.
These each on their own could span into hour long conversations and sub-topics, so I compel you to use these if you legitimately blank or need to regain your composure.
It’s not rocket science guys, and you will soon find after doing this consistently that each conversation becomes easier, and easier, and easier, until you are so calm cool and collected that talking to a random attractive woman you don’t know is as easy as talking to your best friend.