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The Moment I Learned That Rejections Aren’t All Dead Ends
This strategy can be used wherever you live, regardless of what school you are at.
While some of you guys might be in fraternities, or have thriving social scenes at the schools you go to, there are a lot of colleges and universities that have no parties, no night life, and are essentially just commuter schools.
Commuter schools are schools where the majority of students will drive or bus up to class, go to class, and then leave.
And even among the students living on residence, the social scene is weak.
If you go to a commuter school, or you aren’t well connected to your school’s party scene, you need to make things happen yourself.
Fortunately, this is actually incredibly easy to do if you have above average looks, style, and have some balls.
Having a great dating life is ultimately a numbers game.
The better looking you are, the more stylish you are, and the more social freedom you have, the more favorable the numbers will be for you.
From age 19-22 literally all I did was workout and approach women.
Getting laid was my only concern at the time, as well as maximizing my physique in order to improve my results.
I’d often find myself with a couple dates lined up per night, and that seems like an insane time commitment but that’s just all I cared about at the time.
So, obviously when you get into the numbers game, you’re going to get rejected sometimes.
This should be expected.
A great approach:lay ratio would literally be 10 approaches per 1 lay, and even that is extremely generous for most guys.
Get used to being rejected, it is inevitable.
Typically, when a girl rejects you, she will say something like “I have a boyfriend” or “I’m seeing someone”, even if she isn’t.
Sometimes they’re just not sexually available for one reason or another.
Bad mood, family member died recently, in debt, whatever the reason is that’s stressing them out, quite often the stars won’t align where a girl is single and sexually interested in you at the exact same time you approach her.
Often times, she’ll actually be seeing someone, or she’s just not interested.
Girls are very timid, so it’s actually rare for a girl to just flat out say no.
What the majority of guys do (including myself when I first started all this stuff) is accept the rejection and leave the interaction and never see the girl again.
I decided to take a chance one day and try something a bit different, and this tactic ended up working so well that it turned every interaction into a potential massive benefit for me.
Even the rejections.
What To Do When You Get Rejected During A Cold Approach On Campus
I would hit on girls just like I normally would, and then if I got rejected, or she says that she has a boyfriend, I would get her number anyways and I would say, let’s just be friends.
Now, a lot of you guys are going to think why would you do that?
You’re not gonna get anywhere, this is a colossal waste of time.
You’re in the friend zone, you’re going to have to put in all this effort to get this chick, she’s probably not going to leave her boyfriend for you, etc.
She’s already not interested, why would you do this?
The goal of this strategy is NOT to try and win this girl over and push yourself through the friend zone into her pants, do not misconstrue what I’m saying here.
The goal is to get into this girl’s social circle of other attractive girls for massive instant social proof, and you will also be able to easily pick off some silver platter lays among these friend groups pretty consistently.
Remember, I went to a commuter school.
No one really knows anyone at a commuter school, and you might have a handful of friends at most that also go there, and you’re probably not in the exact same classes.
Everyone has their own schedule for the degree they are trying to get, and you’re going to often find yourself in scenarios in college and university where you’re by yourself between classes.
Unless you’re in a very tight knit fraternity or something like that, if you go to a commuter school or you just don’t know anyone, you have to create your own opportunities.
Side note –
I guarantee that even if you went to the most boring and uneventful college in the country, if you pushed yourself to commit full time to self-improvement and talking to girls, you would get laid exponentially more than you would if you were in the best frat in the country.
While you will get girls handed to you on a silver platter in some scenarios in prominent party schools, your results will always be limited by your looks, style and social freedom.
Even if you’re at the most crazy party on earth, if you’re a social recluse, you’re not going to get laid more often than not (unless you’re exceptionally good looking), and the same goes for fraternities.
Comparing a high level of social freedom at a random boring school vs waiting for girls to fall on your lap in party schools with average social skills, the first scenario will always yield a better outcome.
Every single day you are on campus, you will see hot girls sitting around on break studying by themselves, sitting on their phones, listening to music, walking between classes, and in general just wasting time by themselves waiting for their next class to start.
It’s not uncommon for there to be blocks of times upwards of 3-4 hours between classes where students will literally sit in the same spot bored out of their mind waiting for their next class to start.
If these girls are sexually available, you meet their looks threshold, and you’re not completely socially inept (even if you are you will improve very quickly), when you approach them they will give you their number and go out with you.
If a girl isn’t sexually available, but you still meet their looks threshold and can hold a relatively interesting conversation, more often than not, they will still want to be friends with you if you propose the alternative.
From now on, when a chick says “I have a boyfriend” or “I’m seeing someone”, tell them “that’s cool, let’s just be friends” and grab their number anyways.
It’s mutually understood that there are giant blocks of time that there is nothing to do, and if you have someone to keep you company during those time frames, friends are more than welcomed, and you’d be surprised how many attractive girls on campus are literally just sitting there everyday with nobody to talk to.
As the population of men becomes proportionally more beta, there will be less and less men taking advantage of this as well, consequently setting you apart from every other Joe Schmo who would only have the balls to walk up to her in a club inebriated, or send her a message online.
Tell her that next time you both have a matching break on campus that you should meet up and grab coffee.
Remember, the point is not to push this chick’s boundaries and to try and steal her from her boyfriend, in fact I strongly advise against that, even if she starts to come around.
It just feeds your social proof even more with her friends, and makes things exponentially easier for you when you go out with her and your new social circles, which we will get to shortly.
Can Guys Be “Just Friends” With Hot Girls?
Girls more often than not will believe that guys can be “just friends” with attractive girls, whereas men are typically more inclined to say that it is impossible.
Personally, I do not think it is possible for a guy to have a close friend who’s a very attractive girl and not have some sort of sexual tension in the middle of the situation.
Even if they’re “just friends”, no male with healthy hormone levels would ever have zero sexual attraction towards a 10/10 chick that he’s hanging out with.
Again, despite the goal being befriending the girls who have boyfriends/are seeing someone, the REAL goal is actually to catapult yourself into her social circle as quickly as possible.
After you get a number from a girl you’re trying this with, you want to treat it exactly like you would a guy friend.
If you were bored on campus and had nothing to do, you’d text one of your buddies to see if they’re free to chill.
Same applies for these chicks.
You want to treat them like your friend, and by taking sex completely off the table, you will find these interactions a lot lower stress, and it becomes pretty easy to develop a solid friendship fairly quickly with them.
How To Catapult Yourself Into High Caliber Social Circles
Once you set a day and time that you are going to hang out as friends, the goal is to enjoy her company as much as possible, and be yourself.
If you have decent social intuition, it’s pretty easy to hit it off with most girls and be a generally likeable, especially when you don’t have constant impulses in the back of your head trying to figure out how you are going to transition this into getting laid.
Once you’re hanging out with her, sipping your coffee or doing whatever you guys have decided on doing, talk.
Straight up, just build rapport.
Talk about mutual interests, school, work, partying, etc.
After you’ve hung out with this girl a couple times, this is when you pitch a meetup at a club, bar, party, or wherever the go to places are where you live.
“You bring some of your friends and I’ll bring some of my friends and let’s go to _ club downtown Friday night”.
I’ve done this by myself where I’ve met up with social circles of 5-10 chicks, I’ve done this with a couple of my friends where I’ve dragged them to the club just so I could have a couple guys there to chill with while I met up with a social circle of 5-10 chicks, I’ve done this in every possible variation possible, and I’m telling you, it works.
Before I get into exactly how this plays out, you have to acknowledge and realize the following.
If a girl meets up with you a second time on campus, it’s because she enjoys your company.
No girl would respond to a text or go out of their way to meet up with a guy if they didn’t genuinely enjoy their company, I promise you that.
Just like if some guy you knew from high school who you don’t want to hang out with asked you to hang out, you’d make something up or you’d ignore them.
The same applies for girls.
If she meets up with you, she thinks you’re cool and worth chilling with.
Now, keep in mind the context of this situation.
This isn’t a typical friend zoned situation.
Presumably, you’re this chill, cool guy who had the balls to go up to her in the middle of school and strike up a good conversation with generally interesting things to say that threw her off-guard.
This is how she sees you, even if you’re in the friend zone, she’s fully able to grasp how forward and confident a man must be in this day and age to just flat out walk up to a stranger they find attractive and try to take what they want, which is exactly what you did.
Any guy who has hit on a girl like this before (assuming your looks, style and social skills are above average) will have any reasonably logical woman believing that you are a player and probably have lots of options.
Even when I was a virgin, the first girl I slept with thought I was a stud solely because of how I hit on her.
I was clueless, but the context behind how I asked her out and my social intuition made her assume I was a guy with huge amounts of experience.
This is what differentiates you from typical guys in the friend zone.
In the context of girls who reject you that you’re trying to use as a catapult, if your looks, style and social freedom are in check, they will see you as a high quality man, regardless of the fact that they might not planning on sleeping with you.
Plain and simple, men who can confidently talk to strangers and have high level social skills are a dying breed, and women can recognize it.
Even 6 years ago when I was doing this full-time, I can’t even count how many times I’ve had girls tell me how shocked they were to get hit on in the middle of the day like that, or how they would go home and tell all their friends about meeting me and go on and on about this unique situation where a guy came up to her out of the blue in the middle of campus and caught her completely off guard and got her number.
That was 6 years ago, when apps like Tinder were not even mainstream yet, and social media was not nearly as massive as it is now.
Even back then, I estimated that 10% of men would get 90% of the women.
Nowadays, that ratio is probably even more favorable for the elite.
I was still doing online dating, but supplementing with cold approaching and figuring out how to build social circles in college is going to be an integral part of you maximizing your options, and building a massive social network that pushes your value through the roof, while decreasing your outcome dependence in parallel.
You’ll quickly start to notice how much less you give a shit about outcomes once you have a lot of options.
Going To The Club, Bar, Or A Party With Her Friends
Most girls don’t have cool guy friends who they want to go clubbing with.
The reason for this is that guys have an extremely difficult time being friends with attractive girls, and even guys who are locked in the friend zone will often eventually release their pent up horny energy and try and molest the chick they’ve been pining after for years, regardless of the fact that she has a boyfriend.
Most girls with reasonable intelligence know this, and won’t put themselves in a situation where a guy they know low key wants to sleep with her will cross boundaries when they’re out.
Girls who have boyfriends still want to have a good time, and that’s why they’ll go downtown with just their girlfriends.
They don’t want to have to worry about Joe Shmoe getting a bit too hammered and trying to make a move on her in the middle of the night when she’ll inevitably have to shut him down.
This is exactly why you will so incredibly easily be able to catapult yourself into these high caliber social circles.
You’re likely one of the only cool guys she knows who’s actually fun to hang out with and will just be friends with her and not cross boundaries.
And you’re very likely the type of guy who one of her single friends would be interested in, especially because she genuinely likes hanging out with you and will do 90% of the work for you, which is the first piece of value you quickly extract from this dynamic.
If you play this right, within a few weeks you can literally build a few high caliber social circles with really hot girls just via your rejections, and that’s not even accounting for the girls who you’ve successfully approached, got numbers from, and are going on dates with.
So you can see how this quickly expands into this vast network of high quality women that branched off from you literally being a nobody who has no friends.
At my commuter school university, I literally went from knowing nobody, to building several social circles comprised almost entirely of hot girls, as well as knocking out my first 10 lays with girls via successful cold approaches and online dating, within 6 months of committing my life to this.
This snowballed as the years progressed, but I want to really lay out a firm time frame for you guys exemplifying just how quickly you can completely change your life.
I literally believed I was unattractive and nobody wanted to be with me, but the reality was that I was just not doing a fucking thing with my life.
I was sitting at home on my computer studying “game” and “PUA” theories, but I wasn’t out there talking to girls at all!
The Massive Impact Social Proof Will Have On Your Results
The value of meeting up with the social circles of attractive girls you were initially rejected by on the front-end is that you essentially have a wingwoman and massive hype train following you into meeting the friends via the main girl.
By the time you actually get to the club and you are meeting this girl’s friends for the first time, you already have some massive social proof through this girl because she’s gonna tell all of her girlfriends about you before you meet up.
They’re going to say, where are we going tonight? What are we doing?
And she’s going to tell them about the guy she met at school who had a massive set of cojones and confidently struck up a great conversation with her, and didn’t get butt hurt when she rejected him, as well as how funny, chill and generally awesome he is.
Then she’s going to tell them more about how you’ve been hanging out, what you’re like, and how you’re meeting up with them at _ club/bar downtown (or wherever you’re going).
They wouldn’t be meeting up with you if she thought otherwise, I promise you.
She will do 90% of the work for you, and before they’ve even met you, I guarantee that one of her friends will probably have fairly high level of interest in you.
Once you meet up, even if none of her friends are into you, as long as you have some strong rapport with the main chick (which you do), you’re going to have an entourage of hot girls with you all night, and this is where the true value of this comes into play.
Never Underestimate Having An Attractive Wingwoman
A wingwoman is often times much better than a wingman.
At least in my experience.
Social proof is a very real concept, and a girl who sees a man with other attractive women will subconsciously perceive that man as much higher value.
Who do you think has more social proof, the guy who’s hanging out with a couple dudes, or the guy who’s surrounded by 5-10 hot girls and a couple dudes?
The dudes being your friends if you wanted to bring them.
Once you have a few high caliber social circles who enjoy hanging out with you, you now have several groups you can plan to go clubbing or bar hopping with, who inherently pass on massive social proof to you wherever you go.
And once you get more advanced, you can start to commingle two of your high caliber social circles, and feed your social proof exponentially higher to the other groups, thus pushing your stock even higher through the roof to these chicks.
Even if literally none of these girls want to sleep with you, the nucleus of these social circles being the chicks you fostered strong friendships with will solidify your stock in the groups and pre-social proof you to them, greatly improving the likelihood that they will all like you too, and more often than not a friend or two will want to hook up with you solely based off of this.
This isn’t even the direct benefit that you are seeking though, the point is that just a few rejections can indirectly lead to you cultivating social circles comprised of dozens of attractive girls who genuinely want to hang out and party with you, and wing for you with girls in the club/bar/parties/wherever you are.
Cold approaching a chick at the club who knows you’re there with 10 high tier women vs cold approaching a chick at the club when you’re there by yourself, or your boys are leaning against a wall watching your interaction intently, can often have quite different outcomes.
I can’t even describe how effective this actually is in practical application, and it significantly increases the probability of you connecting with girls you may have not had a chance with otherwise.
The fact that this all stems from your rejections, which otherwise yield 0 value for 99% of guys, I feel is what makes this especially worth exploring, as it has worked for me several times in the past, and I feel that it is a completely overlooked strategy.